Published By: RallyUp Magazine
Mental Health Warrior
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" -Philippians 4:13
My name is Kavon! Proud owner and CEO of Vons Auto (Mobile Auto Mechanic). I am 35 years old, and I currently have an 8-year-old princess name Ka’Vaeh. Also, two brothers Kevin (Deceased) and Keyon and one sister Tania. Since a young age I had to grow and mature quick. A lot of things I’ve learned on my own and some were taught to me. Depression started early; I say maybe because of my size. I was a big boy growing up, and to be honest I didn’t really let it stop me until I got older. Growing up seeing my brother as a diabetic didn’t seem that bad even after learning about the seizures. I didn’t think nothing of it at first until it started to happen frequently. Knowing that I had to become a big brother before my time didn’t make me nervous, it made me work harder. Growing up I had low self-esteem, but my plate full of responsibilities kept my mind occupied. I didn’t have to think about it as much.
Today, I still tend to keep my emotions bottled up inside and help others before I help myself, putting effort and energy in places that won’t return the same energy. I have had a lot of relationships over the years that carried a lot of resentment and frustration, disrespect etc. All these years have passed by and not much changed. I’ve tried using different strategies to find balance, but nothing worked. I have a few good friends like Craig, Tanzania, Anton, Tim and a few others. They have helped me along the way with techniques, some effective and some not. The last few years have been the ultimate struggle but with GOD anything is possible. Prayer helped me get through a lot of rough patches and my favorite preacher, Mr. Tyrone Purdie at Agape Life Temple.
These last few years were very challenging, it consisted of bad relationships, friendships and parental problems. Co-parenting has been very difficult, from child support to visitation, I thought I would never get past it or at least go through and still have my sanity! Lol. Frustratedly, I still find myself holding on to broken promises and untrustworthy people. The battle is real! I try my best every day to overcome what could have been worse. I love life and love my family and true friends. If it’s anyone out there going through it, think about yourself first and what you could be if you have your mental health under control. Take it one day at a time and surround yourself with positivity.
RUM: Oftentimes people are prejudged because of their size, which is unfair but real. How were you able to continue to grow and minimize that impact on your mental health?
KAVON: Well, all my life I’ve been on the big side. I was very athletic in my younger days. I did basketball, football, swimming even though I wasn’t very comfortable in Speedo’s but I made it happen! Over the years I became very busy with my hobby as a mechanic, and that pretty much became my workout. I lost about 70 pounds over the summer from sweating and always staying busy. Once I fell into depression from moving to another state, a newborn baby girl with no job... trying to figure out every day, what kind of work I would take on pushed me to a level I never had to go! I was always thinking and planning but nothing worked. I moved back home and that’s when things took a turn. Doors opened and closed as if I was walking into every room in the house! Thank God! I noticed that moving up and down in weight was not healthy. So, I met up with Craig and my friend Anton and the journey took off from there! The gym helped me push my emotions and frustration! It felt good! More powerful and energetic! My friends pushed me to be who I needed to be and what I needed not only for my mental health but for my physical health as well.
RUM:In your story, you stated that you keep your emotions bottled up inside. Has that impacted the decisions you made in life to include relationships?
KAVON: First thing I can say is bottled up emotions are not good! I’ve been this way for so many years! I’ve made a lot of mistakes and wasted a lot of time leaning on those emotions. Thinking about other people’s feelings before mine, putting time for myself to the side for others and what they need done, doing things for my family when sometimes I may feel nobody would do the same or go as far as me to please someone. To be honest, that goes for some of the people I thought were friends or family, customers or whatever they may be. Try to give the best advice or be there every time someone calls. There have been times when my body has totally shut down and I still made it my business to pick up someone who was stranded or needed money right away or fixing a car just to make sure they have a way back and forth to work or for the kids to get to school. I always feel like I have bottled emotions in a relationship. I’m very genuine and want the best for me and my partner but when it becomes toxic and I stay to help make it better and once I feel like it’s no change or progress, then what’s the point of putting myself through something that I’m obviously not happy with? We try but sometimes you have to know when to walk away.
RUM: What are some of the things you do to maintain good mental health?
KAVON: One of the things that helps me maintain is pretty simple ... my number one is my daughter! She is my motivation, every day and everything I do is for her. One reason why I work so hard! To make extra time and be there for her as much as I can while I’m here and leave her what I never had and more! I keep busy! When I’m busy as always have something to do and hang around positive people. My biggest issue was not always having somebody to really lean on with my problems. I’ve given so much of myself to other people I just think sometimes they don’t notice. Tough to say but I feel like my purpose on earth is to help. I’m always on edge even when I have nothing to do because I’m eager to be there! Now I take my time and enjoy my free days! I will do stuff like wash my cars or work on them. Go for long drives, back and forth to storage to rearrange things. Listen to all types of music while I’m cruising on 495. I’m currently getting ready to take a trip to Dallas Texas to see the Dallas Cowboys! Something I’ve always wanted to do since a lil kid! I always fall short every year with no money and struggling. But God has made a way! Even with being off for almost two years due to injury and battling child support and dealing with family and relationship issues, friendship issues and etc. I’m still here! I’ve had the break I needed in over 35 years of working hard nonstop and going somewhere I never thought I would get to in this lifetime! Cars I never thought I would own or drive! One thing I can say is throughout my journey, God has always been right by my side!
RUM: Do you have any final words for our readers?
KAVON:KAVON: Thank you for taking the time to read my story and I hope one day whoever or however this reaches someone or somebody going through what I’ve gone through, be true to yourself and keep believing in God! Trust the process and keep positivity, peace and joy in everyday!